What will it take for Lebanon officials to step up and give the high school an administration that they can be PROUD TO UPHOLD THE PRECEDENTS SHOWN TO THEM BY EXAMPLE.
by Rebekah Monroe
What if less than two years after you graduated high school your former principal approached you and asked what happened with your high school sweetheart, why it didn’t work out?
What if you spilled your guts and talked about it, and how you’re now living in a city for the first time at 19, and within your first five months you were sexually assaulted multiple times?
What if your recently former principal asks what bothered you about how the man touches you (rather than recognizing it as assault) and asks “was it his age?”
What if your recently former principal initiating all of these questions, tells you the solution is to stay away from alcohol and sticking to jacking off, then asks you, what you think about when you’re masturbating?
What if you made this conversation public because the Board of Education and Superintendent’s office did not think this worthy of removing this principal from his position?
If all it takes is two years after graduating to exploit a former student’s sexual assault for his own questionable interest then I ask you this: why is it so much easier to be fired at a minimum wage job for non-offensive mistakes, being late, calling off too much… but HE can show horribly perverse intentions and a clear ability to lie and hide his true nature, and is not held accountable?
What will it take for Lebanon officials to step up and give the high school an administration that they can be PROUD TO UPHOLD THE PRECEDENTS SHOWN TO THEM BY EXAMPLE.
What does it say about a system when the people who are supposed to protect the students, are not only causing them harm, but giving them no outlet to justice, as they are themselves blocking it?
I implore you to step down out of respect to me, to my peers, who you also administrated over, and out of respect to your current students.
By the way, this person reported this to Facebook as bullying/harassment. What a joke.
Rebekah,
Unlike your minimum wage example, the principal did not clearly violate any requirements of the job. However, you are mistaken to say that he was not held accountable. He was. Action was taken at the time - 4 years ago. Although you may not know the specifics, it was handled by the the school board, who does not take these things lightly.
You seem perplexed as to why you aren’t getting the support you would expect. Not from the Lebanon school board, the media, nor many posters - both men and women (you were almost universally condemned on your Reddit thread). You blamed this on our living in a ‘rape culture’. I’ll tell you what I think the real reasons are:
1. Society expects two adults having a private conversation at 1-2 am to know how to handle themselves -ie if one is offended he/she immediate tells the other, and/or hangs up the phone. You did neither of these. It doesn’t matter if he was older or your former principal. If it mattered there would be a law against such discussions. Laws reflect social mores and expectation of personal responsibility.
2. You contributed to the tone of the texts - lighthearted, witty, smart. This was the tone of your previous conversations. You joked with him and opened up about sexual issues in your life. Although you don’t seem to be aware of it, this was a factor in how the last conversation unfolded.
3. OTOH, you don’t seem as naive as you seem to want people to think. Twice you jokingly threatened to have HIM fired for speaking as frankly as YOU were - a threat that now is enlightening since I have learned that you actually did get a former boss of yours fired. In the texts with the principal he made it clear that he considered this to be a private conversation between two consenting adults, and you seemed to clearly be fine with that.
4. While on some level you may have been somewhat seeking advice and assistance, you sent very mixed messages. With regard to the ‘assault’ as you call it, you texted that an older man - a stranger - showed you definite sexual interest, and you went with him to a (his?) residence, and laid down on a bed! And a little while he came in and started making moves on you - which led to you allowing him to finger your privates. You said in the text that this ‘aroused’ you, even if you weren’t 100% ok with it.
Rebekah, putting the message you were sending to the 40 year old man aside - when a grown woman talks to a man about becoming aroused by having these things done to her, she is sending a mixed message whether she intends to or not. This is why you have been criticized - even by plenty of women advocates.
But what disturbs me EVEN MORE is that you outright wrote previously on your timeline that you were very open about sexual issues BECAUSE you ‘had to keep him talking’ . There is a legal term for this - it’s called ENTRAPMENT. It would have been different had you expressed concern or disapproval with his responses to you but you didn’t. Instead you say you intentionally egged him on. That’s twisted behavior on YOUR part.
5. You haven’t taken responsibility for your role in contributing to the direction in which the conversation went. You encouraged it by talking about being sexually aroused, and by not telling him THE VERY MOMENT you were becoming uncomfortable but INSTEAD you ‘kept him talking’. That’s dishonest, and unethical.
6. The MOMENT you - as an adult - expressed your disapproval, the principal expressed surprise and ignorance at not realizing you weren’t in sync with him as he had thought, and apologized profusely. 3 times. And then he quickly ended the conversation, as he should have.
He didn’t have an affair with you. He didn’t even have a sexual encounter. He had a brief sexually-oriented discussion which you are now trying to get him fired over - 4 years later, and after it had already been handled properly through the school board, who did take disciplinary action. Your raising this issue again over 4 years later is messed up - frankly it’s RIDICULOUS.
The word is that a few months prior to this conversation you received a cash settlement from McDonalds for a sexual harassment case you brought against your prior boss - the FATHER of your EX-boyfriend, after he advised his son to break up with you. Given the way in which you continue to try and raise a dead subject that has gathered no momentum among those in Lebanon Missouri against this very dedicated principal and father, and given the fact that you don’t seem to be as naive as you are portraying yourself to be, I cannot help but think that any reasonable person would question your motives in BOTH of these cases.
You may well have some good intentions, but this case is ugly, and I’m not talking about in the way you want others to see it. You do not come across as the victim you claim to be. Just the opposite.
it would be in your best interest to DROP it, LEARN from it, and MOVE ON with your life.